Report: 58-Second “New York Minute” Official


“It’s about time,” says hedge broker who can finally catch a cab in this town

NEW YORK — Residents of the West Coast, long believed to be one step ahead of everyone else, now fall behind the official New York Minute.

This week, New Yorkers unanimously decided to adopt the New York Minute, a unit of time that mandates 58 seconds is now a minute for the people of the Empire State.

Pacific time can’t keep pace. Mountain time doesn’t measure up. Central time … we’re pretty sure no one actually lives in the Central time zone. While the rest of us do what we can with our 1,440 minutes each day, New Yorkers thrive on 1,490.

Denizens of TSheets-headquartered Idaho say the New York Minute won’t change the way they think about time; commuters will still drive a full 10 miles per hour below the posted speed limit. But New Yorkers say the 50-minute boost makes a big difference.

“Makes the tourists think they have to run everywhere,” says Mark “the Meathead” Jones, New York hot dog cart owner. “It’s even easier to spot them.”

Now, the change has other fast-paced cities scrambling to follow suit.

Singapore, whose people are known for their brisk walking speed of 10.55 seconds per 60 feet, seek to push physical boundaries to 9.22 seconds. They’ve commissioned Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt for help.

Worried about how the New York Minute will affect your time tracking? Worry not! Ever on top of changing trends, TSheets has introduced a new feature designed to accommodate employees working in the new unit of measurement.